2025 Rewind & Hopes for 2026: A Letter to You

Looking Back at 2025

2025 has been a blur. The first quarter felt heavy, like moving through fog. Grief wrapped itself around every day—sometimes quiet, sometimes crashing like waves I couldn’t control. Family needed me too. My brother was in the hospital for almost a month with gout, and I had to juggle his care along with my own emotions. My little nephew struggled with his exams, and my siblings needed support.

Through it all, the waves of missing you were constant, especially at night. I would look at the ocean and feel your absence, yet at the same time, sense your presence in memory.

By the third quarter, I felt more stable. Tears still came, but I could manage them. Work became routine again, and by the fourth quarter, I could feel myself regaining some strength. Healing isn’t linear, but I could see the small victories.

Gratitude Amid Loss

Looking back, I realize how blessed I am. Alhamdulillah, I can eat, laugh, work, and even make small choices for myself. I’ve learned to take care of my health in tiny ways—counting calories and sugar intake, not as punishment, but as self-care.

Even when money and responsibilities weigh heavy, I remind myself that these are the tools I worked for. The moments with family, small joys at home, the laughter of nephews, and even quiet mornings with tea—these are priceless and cannot be replaced.

A Letter to You

On the first day of the year, I wrote to you:

"Happy New Year, Sayangku. New year feels like any other day for me since you’ve been gone. I slept at 11 pm, sleepy from yesterday’s full day at the office. Alhamdulillah, I had team members helping, and I managed to make it through. I still ate what I wanted—Big Mac and curly fries—but now I count calories and sugar intake for my health. My goals for the new year are a healthier lifestyle, khatam Al-Quran, and being a better person. Your birthday is coming soon. Even though you’re not here, I want to celebrate it—because you were born, we met, we loved, we married. You were my soulmate, and that day will always be special."

Writing to you reminds me to pause, breathe, and recognize what I have now. Money can be earned, meals can be made, but these moments—feeling connected, remembering you, cherishing small joys—they can’t be replaced.

Small Wins, Big Impact

I see progress in the little things: sleeping better, taking care of my health, being more mindful with spending. Even when the rain suddenly falls, keeping me indoors, I can still enjoy my sandwich while watching Kenit and the cats eat from her bowl. These tiny, quiet moments are healing.

Hopes for 2026

For 2026, I step forward with intention:

To live with care

To cherish memories

To grow spiritually and emotionally

To nurture myself without guilt

Alhamdulillah for 2025, with all its highs and lows. I welcome 2026 with hope, patience, and love—ready for small victories, mindful choices, and moments that truly matter.

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