After the Rain, A Thousand Tomorrows

Dear Sayang, Alhamdulillah, today was such a great day. Early in the morning before 7am, I went for a walk to the beach. The tide was low, so I walked nearly 1 km down to the water’s edge. The weather was beautiful, alhamdulillah. If you were here, I bet you’d be swimming far, far out into the sea. And of course, I’d be shouting your name worried, like always because you’re too adventurous for your own good. Always swimming out too far, making me panic! After that, my friends and I walked to find breakfast. Before 10am, we’d already walked nearly 3km. See, Sayang? I’m keeping active. I think you’d be proud of me. We planned to eat ikan bakar in Kemaman for lunch... but the shop was closed! 😂 So we ended up just eating nasi berlauk in Cherating instead. Wasted almost an hour, but we enjoyed ourselves. In the afternoon, we went on a boat ride along the river, through the mangrove forest. It was so beautiful. And hot! My face is sunburned even though I wore sunscreen can you believe it? ...

24 May 2025. Dear whoever ready blog  (do I have one? Well it's ok..enjoy!) Today feels… layered. Like one of those days where time wraps itself around memories and moments, and suddenly everything feels tender. I wrote a letter to my late husband. I do that sometimes, talk to him like he’s still just a few steps behind me. Maybe he is. Maybe he’s laughing at me for watching an animated Malaysian movie and actually enjoying it. I can just picture him like how he's scrunching his nose, shaking his head, but still tagging along. Always tagging along. That was his kind of love. Quiet, loyal, no questions asked. And me? Demanding as ever. But I miss him. God, I miss him. After the movie, I had lunch with my friend and her husband, catching up like old times. Then, like fate had a calendar to fill, I ended up having coffee with another friend, we sit together with one of our friend who just got let go from work. Not because she wasn’t good (she’s brilliant), but because ...

Hi Sayang, Pejam celik sudah 7 bulan Sayang ku. Rindu tak pernah hilang. I still feel your presence. You’re always there... I see you. I feel you. I miss you, Sayang. Badly missing you. I promise I will be stronger Sayang ku For me, For you, For us. I love you, Sayang. 19 May 2025

Sometimes, a simple comment on social media can turn into an unexpected drama saga. Recently, it started with a harmless question about why some people choose to drink certain things like sirap suam.  She questioned other choices then asked what is their problem?  I responded with what I thought was a polite, straightforward answer: “Pilihan masing-masing dik. Tekak dia, lidah dia. Awak ada masalah ke dengan pilihan mereka?” That sparked a surprising amount of heat. The person got mad, pushed for a fight, and the back-and-forth escalated quickly. I stayed calm, mixing a bit of cheeky humor with empathy, even think about offering a virtual “sirap ais” to cool things down. But then came the kicker: she asked me to check back my response and questioned if it was right to say it that way. That made me pause. Was my initial response too harsh? Too blunt? Here’s what I realized: My words were honest and respectful. I wasn’t out to insult or provoke. In the fast-moving wor...

Sayangku I miss you. I know I’ve said it so many times, over and over but, what else can I say? It’s the truth. It’s always the truth. I miss you in quiet moments, in loud rooms, in the middle of laughter, and especially when the world slows down. And today, I cried again. Why? Because the missing never really stops. Because rindu itu berat, sayangku. It wraps itself around my heart and squeezes when I least expect it. How am I supposed to deal with this? I don’t know. I just let the tears flow. Maybe they water the parts of me you used to hold. Maybe they soften the sharp edges of this grief. Still, here I am. Missing you. Loving you. Carrying you in everything I do. Rindu itu datang tak lihat tarikh atau masa, tetap mengalir rasa rindu itu. Meminjam tajuk lagu terbaru Amir Jahari, ye benar RINDU ITU BERAT 12 May 2025 Written in the quiet hours between days, when love lingers and longing refuses to sleep.

Each month, my team and I gear up for what feels like a financial triathlon, ting ting ...yup closing the accounts for our regional office. The timeline is tight, the stakes are high, and the expectation is simple: just get it done . And we do. We put in the hours, chase down submissions, battle with an occasionally uncooperative system, and double-check every cent before we hit that "submit" button. Not because we're slow. Not because we're inefficient. But because we believe accuracy matters. Because in finance, a wrong figure isn't just a typo, it can spiral into a thousand questions at HQ level. But here's the part most people don’t see: our timeline doesn’t exist in a vacuum. We rely on other departments to submit their documentation on time. We rely on the system to function like it’s supposed to. We rely on basic operational flow to respect that account closing isn’t just a checkbox (let's tick a box ☑️?) it’s the final chapter of a very complicated...

I bet we do have a friend who is so kind that sometimes you really want to smack her for being too nice (or is it just me?) Well I do I have this friend, let’s call her H She’s one of the kindest people I know. Always giving. Always patient. Always trying to make things work, even when the odds are clearly stacked against her. She carries her pain quietly, like it’s something shameful, like it’s something she’s supposed to endure without complaint. But here’s the thing about H when she tells me her problems, I don’t nod and say, “Just be patient.” No. I nag her. I be-bel at her, hard. Because when you care about someone who’s drowning in kindness, you don’t just throw them a float, you swim out and drag them back, even if they kick and scream. H tells me stories that make my blood boil. About how her husband pressures her to get a job, but somehow has time to go fishing. About how arguments flare up over money they don’t even have. About how she’s expected to stay calm, be supportive,...

Today I felt like a quiet victory. I didn’t climb mountains or run marathons, but I moved 3.1 km on foot, 30 minutes on the stationary bike, and a few simple push-ups to remind my body it’s still strong. I hydrated, I ate just enough, and I ended the night with my legs elevated, my body calm, and my heart... a little fuller. But somewhere between the steps and the sweating, my mind kept returning to something I saw on social media the public fallout between Ordinary Bakers and Éclairis (yes I still do read gossip.. sometimes), the sibling-owned bakeries. They are admired by many for their talent, their grit, and once, their unity. It broke my heart a little. When family turns into rivals in front of the world, we don’t just witness a business dispute we see love strained, dreams dented, and pain that’s much deeper than frosting and flour. I wish I could say something to both of them: Please take a step back. Pause. Reflect. Let the legal process run quietly, not loudly on timelines and...