Raya 2025...so far; i hate folding clothes

Dear Sayang,

I had to go to the self-service laundry yesterday. You know, the one we usually avoid because it’s always so crowded? I tried to handle it on my own, but the weight of the bakul was heavier than usual. I could feel you in every step, like I was supposed to be doing this with you, just like we always did. You would’ve gone early, found the quiet, and I would’ve taken my sweet time, just like I always do. But without you there, it felt so much harder. I hate folding clothes without you. I just wish you were here, making it feel less like a chore and more like a shared moment.

And then, Sayang, there’s my brother. He’s been in the hospital since last Thursday. I’m really worried. It feels like everything is off right now. I even thought about riding a motorcycle to work to clear my head, but Mom’s against it. I don’t want to make her worry, but I just need some space. I miss the way you’d always reassure me, tell me it would be okay. But now, it’s just me, figuring things out as best as I can.

Raya hasn’t been the same. It’s just so empty without you. I try to enjoy the vibes, the little things, but it’s hard to feel that joy without you next to me, making me laugh or planning what we’d do next. I try, Sayang. I really do. But it’s just not the same.

On a good note, I bought a new fridge. It feels like a small victory. One less thing to worry about, I guess. I know you would’ve helped me pick it out, argued with me about which one was best, but I’m proud of myself for getting it done. Even though it’s not the same without you here to share it with me.

I just wanted to tell you all these things, like I always would. I miss you so much, Sayang. It’s just not the same here without you.


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