Dear Sayang

 Hi Sayangku,

It’s been months, but somehow, it still feels like yesterday. And now, as my iddah comes to an end on March 4, 2025, I find myself standing at a threshold I never wanted to reach. The world expects me to move forward, to step into a new chapter—but how do I do that when every part of me still aches for you?

You taught me so much. You taught me how to be strong, how to be brave, how to face challenges with a steady heart. You taught me patience, resilience, and how to keep going even when things got tough. But there’s one thing you forgot to teach me.

You never taught me how to live without you.

I try, Sayang. I wake up, I go through the motions, I even laugh sometimes. But every quiet moment reminds me that you’re not here. No one told me that grief isn’t just sadness—it’s love that has nowhere to go. And every time I reach for you in the silence, I realize all over again that you’re not coming back.

Ramadhan is near, and for the first time, I’ll go through it without you by my side. No more sleepy sahur together, no more small arguments over who takes the last date. Just me, learning how to fill the empty spaces you've left behind.

But if there’s one thing I know, it’s that you’d want me to keep going. You'd want me to be brave, to live—not just survive. And even though it’s hard, I promise I’ll try.

I miss you, Sayang. I always will. But I carry you with me, in every step, in every prayer, in every beat of my heart.

Until we meet again.


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